Back to Black

I attended a wedding the other day. I had no real knowledge of the bride and groom, my encounters with them prior to this event not numbering more than two, and only went because someone asked me to tag along as a guest, finding myself obliged to fork out a hefty €50 in the process (grr). Being barely acquainted with them, I was struck by the couple at the ceremony, this not being due to their attire (well that too…the bride wore a lovely and (erm…how to put it discreetly :p) attractive (yep that’s an appropriate word) champagne Belle-in-the-Beauty-and-the-Beast-like gown while her counterpart was just as stylish) but to their choice of readings, especially the Gospel, which started off with a reverberating “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” Don’t get the wrong impressions – the two don’t come across as Our Lady and St Joseph, version 2. Still, picking these words as backdrop for their wedding service was, in my opinion a bold, loud-statement-making step that unambiguously announced: we believe in the Institution that’ll bind us from now on. I couldn’t help admiring them and praying that the faith in their love be rewarded through and through. All of this stands in stark contrast with what has been going on in Maltese society in the last month or so, where discussion about divorce has become the practise of the day.

To be honest I am fed up of reading letter after letter and blog after blog on the divorce issue – it simply leaves me with a bitter realisation that, more often than not, these individuals do not have the slightest idea of what they are after. Many advocate the introduction of divorce for the simple reason that it “It is 2008” as if the number on my diary’s cover should affect how I think. Others use an “If everyone’s got it, why shouldn’t we” or a “Live and let live” argument. My mind immediately retorts rhetorically to the former with “If everyone jumps off a cliff, should you?”, making me wonder if half of Malta still suffers from the inferiority complex that for years has made many prefer “Il-halib tal-bott” over “Il-halib tal-gvern” as the first “originates” from non-Maltese cows. However, it is the “Live and let live” ideal that puts me off most.

Many regard the maxim “Live and let live”, where everyone does as he or she likes, as an apt representation of the democratic society we live in. They cannot be more misled. In no dictionary do I find such definition under “Democracy” – don’t be disheartened though, it is there, standing in another noun’s shadow: Anarchy. Yep, ladies and gents, that’s the word where “I do what I want and you have no right to regulate my behaviour” fits to perfection. Throughout my year’s experience as a Guidance Teacher in the tackiest of subjects (bullying, drug- and substance-abuse and abuse proper), I have regularly had to shed light on the difference to my students: living in a democracy gives great freedom which, in order to be safeguarded, by necessity, is linked to an authoritative-body (government) that determines the legality of one action and those that are deterring to the country at large or the person him/herself (I know it’s confusing on first reading, but I assure you that if you go through it again, you’ll see that it makes sense ;D). If one had to be allowed to follow one’s instincts all the time, then safety, harmony and all that we expect to enjoy such that we can go about our lives with peace of mind, would be forfeited. It’s already trying as it is… Consequently “Live and let live” cannot be anymore false – what you do influences me, even if it is the most private of actions, it manifesting itself in an attitude towards a person, or the generation of an underground market of otherwise unattainable materials (heqqhimm) etc. etc. etc.

Maturity and mutual responsibility are what society’s “brightest” minds should be fostering. And yet, is this where our island-nation is heading?