i wish i had all d answers

it's friday morning...2:35am to be exact. still awake due to many complications life pleases itself to present me with. i may have started to untie the various knots in the "parenting" issue, still surprises never stop cropping from around d corner...which is why i am here tonight.

This blog's turning into a whiner's window, but i have to be honest, right now i cannot but whine...whine and dine lol...oh no, got that wrong...whine and trust hehe. yep that's right...trust. trust whom? heqq himm--d big guy up above and down here. the people i love all sem to have lost their minds (so to say) in the past couple of days, and as usual, superman'd like to go to their rescue (guess who i'm referring to), if only he knew how.

trust--that's what st joseph did, when his world fell apart, seconds after discovering that his bride-to-be broke the news to him that she was pregnant from "some chap announced to her as the holy spirit" (hope that doesn't qualify as blasphemy)...his trust led him to holding the son of god in his arms, being the first man to set his eyes on him, and eventually having the honour and pleasure of hearing this little child calling him "Daddy".

trust--that's what jesus himself did, when, after wasting the best part of three years preaching, healing and caring for as many destitute as his patience could take, he found himself faced with a wooden beam, the governor pilate sentencing him to death by way of false accusations. three days later, he opened his eyes to see a new dawn, literally and figuratively, rise on mankind...this species who before good friday had only one option-struggle onwards, hopelessly...and now could choose to continue d struggle but with an added help, his help that guarantees that with him close by, they can face any turmoil.

trust--that's what many a martyr, many a cancer patient, many a victim of injustice...trust that d project or family they'd started'll be cared for by whoever the one above chooses...they trusted in him...he won't let them down...

trust--that's what i'm trying to do today. trying...not actually succeeding, but trying. i don't need all the answers.

When Life Gives You Lemons

I have always taken pride in the fact that I can adapt to different roles or circumstances easily, finding qualms in neither walking in my cheap-ethiopian-car-tyre shoes, which I've been wearing all the time since my return from that precious country a bit less than a year ago, nor the real-leather ones that I reserve for some poshy occasion. Life is a rollercoaster ride through and through, according to the tunes of which I try to dance as best I can, without getting too disheartened or lightheaded in the process. However, attempt as I may, up till now, I have not managed to come up with the best techniques, or rather those that are pleasing to both myself and the people around me, through which I stimulate my twelve-year-old bro's interest in anything else save computer games or TV shows, as well as effective methods of correction.

He is a born clown to the bone, a talent he has inherited from our father, who used to find a good laugh in practically everything. True to this tradition, my brother ably discerns a laugh up his sleeve whenever I see it appropriate to correct him on some thing or other, him seeing no difficulty in exposing it there and then. Writing about it now, it all sounds very amusing, but I assure you that when faced with his belly laugh while delivering my all authorative parent-like speech, I immediately come to the end of my tether without further ado, proving myself as a worthy understudy to whichever respected tenor, such is the pitch that my voice successfully reaches as I shout every inch of my patience up my vocal chords.

I am well aware that this no way to go about correcting one's siblings, especially because it falls extremely short of exemplary. Now for the Nth time, I renew my resolution to keep poised, when the situation calls for a correction of sorts. May be this time around, I will succeed. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade (or lemon meringue mmmm).

I'm No Superman

It always leaves an empty sensation in my insides whenever I come across someone with whom i'd have had a deep relationship in the recent and not so recent past and who'd now be in some kind of mess. I always find myself asking: could I have done something with which the situation this person's passing through now would've been avoided? Is there anything I can do now? These questions result from a mish-mash of my ever present "Saviour-of-the-World" syndrome (a term coined by myself defining my desire to help ad nauseam :p) and my honest conviction that an extra minute of someone listening to another's concerns or an unexpected smile can make a world of difference. As for the latter, this is further reinforced by my belief that nothing happens at random; there's a Big Guy up there and down here simutaneously that does his best to write straight on crooked lines, which in turn get messed up in no time by inquisitive and exceedingly jumpy individuals who can't keep their hands to themselves and have to touch, change, interpret, adapt etc., etc., whatever comes in their way....

I'm trying to envision the blank looks on you people's faces as you cluelessly wonder what's hit me today to pour out such thoughts verging on interminably intertwined philosophy LOL. I can only offer one word (or two, hehehe) of consolation with which I leave off: Life's a mess. If you have faith, you know that the mess'll work out sooner or later. If not, you're left with the mess. In the meantime, you can try believing that the Big Guy needs your hands and feet to change the world - so keep your eyes open for the next person who needs your help...you've been put in that place at that particular moment so that your paths cross explicitly for you and him/her to interract. Don't give anyone the cold shoulder...You may be the only source of aid at hand...

This reasoning's changed my perception of my role in life completely - you'll always find me close, friend, though I'm no Superman.

Back to Black

I attended a wedding the other day. I had no real knowledge of the bride and groom, my encounters with them prior to this event not numbering more than two, and only went because someone asked me to tag along as a guest, finding myself obliged to fork out a hefty €50 in the process (grr). Being barely acquainted with them, I was struck by the couple at the ceremony, this not being due to their attire (well that too…the bride wore a lovely and (erm…how to put it discreetly :p) attractive (yep that’s an appropriate word) champagne Belle-in-the-Beauty-and-the-Beast-like gown while her counterpart was just as stylish) but to their choice of readings, especially the Gospel, which started off with a reverberating “What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.” Don’t get the wrong impressions – the two don’t come across as Our Lady and St Joseph, version 2. Still, picking these words as backdrop for their wedding service was, in my opinion a bold, loud-statement-making step that unambiguously announced: we believe in the Institution that’ll bind us from now on. I couldn’t help admiring them and praying that the faith in their love be rewarded through and through. All of this stands in stark contrast with what has been going on in Maltese society in the last month or so, where discussion about divorce has become the practise of the day.

To be honest I am fed up of reading letter after letter and blog after blog on the divorce issue – it simply leaves me with a bitter realisation that, more often than not, these individuals do not have the slightest idea of what they are after. Many advocate the introduction of divorce for the simple reason that it “It is 2008” as if the number on my diary’s cover should affect how I think. Others use an “If everyone’s got it, why shouldn’t we” or a “Live and let live” argument. My mind immediately retorts rhetorically to the former with “If everyone jumps off a cliff, should you?”, making me wonder if half of Malta still suffers from the inferiority complex that for years has made many prefer “Il-halib tal-bott” over “Il-halib tal-gvern” as the first “originates” from non-Maltese cows. However, it is the “Live and let live” ideal that puts me off most.

Many regard the maxim “Live and let live”, where everyone does as he or she likes, as an apt representation of the democratic society we live in. They cannot be more misled. In no dictionary do I find such definition under “Democracy” – don’t be disheartened though, it is there, standing in another noun’s shadow: Anarchy. Yep, ladies and gents, that’s the word where “I do what I want and you have no right to regulate my behaviour” fits to perfection. Throughout my year’s experience as a Guidance Teacher in the tackiest of subjects (bullying, drug- and substance-abuse and abuse proper), I have regularly had to shed light on the difference to my students: living in a democracy gives great freedom which, in order to be safeguarded, by necessity, is linked to an authoritative-body (government) that determines the legality of one action and those that are deterring to the country at large or the person him/herself (I know it’s confusing on first reading, but I assure you that if you go through it again, you’ll see that it makes sense ;D). If one had to be allowed to follow one’s instincts all the time, then safety, harmony and all that we expect to enjoy such that we can go about our lives with peace of mind, would be forfeited. It’s already trying as it is… Consequently “Live and let live” cannot be anymore false – what you do influences me, even if it is the most private of actions, it manifesting itself in an attitude towards a person, or the generation of an underground market of otherwise unattainable materials (heqqhimm) etc. etc. etc.

Maturity and mutual responsibility are what society’s “brightest” minds should be fostering. And yet, is this where our island-nation is heading?

Ok...so I've decided to set up a blog

ello guys and gals...

some of you may know...some of you may not -- one thing that should be taken as given about me is that i'm awfully busy...just think about this, yesterday evening, i had to be in three places at the same time and although i'd planned to make my presence felt in all three albeit briefly, of course, i only managed to be in one (Link- Qormi San Gorg's Funky Youth Group), mainly due to the fact that this event involved "water-fights" that, for better or worse, kind of got out of hand and i ended up dripping less than 2 minutes into my arrival there. either way it was great fun...so no regrets there :p

back to subject...i may be as busy as a bee, but that has never kept me from falling short of sounding my voice, that is quite loud, might i add, and which seems to have things to say about mostly everything. Some conclude I'm a busy-body...others just take me for who i am...hopefully a meagre minority actually like what they hear. that's what brought me here...been thinking about it for a while-weighing the pro's and con's of blogging and all that...now here i am having a go at it.

i'm not accustomed to starting things only to leave them idle after some time, so expect contributions which'll probably touch on anything which may be my relationship with Jesus, religion, gossip, current affairs affecting our weeny island and the world at large, youth issues, anything my head'll be waffling on at that point in time etc. etc. etc. etc. ... you get what i meant by everyhing? hehehe

i think that's enough for today...i got to go anyway...i promised my eleven--no! twelve! (gosh, hairloss does dampen one's memory! -- brother that i'd be off the computer by 11 and i'm already past that mark by 40 minutes, with him wrecking hell around me and my mum screaming in the background :p but check back soon-i know i will ;)

cheers people and God bless!

(useful links: the LINK youth group site: http://linkyouths.org/

my videos channel on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/ChillerSeminarian

me on hi-5: http://ic-cilia.hi5.com/

that should be enough for now hehehe)